A Reality Check

Do I miss you

No. I just miss the way you made me laugh

Not enough to fall back in 

Most would say I’m better off, that I win

We spent years playing

It was when we reached the summit when I knew 

we would never make it

that’s why I was so emotional that day 

Then Chimborazo came

I had to call it 

I’ve never seen you so exhausted, shit

an avalanche could have hit 

You pushed my limits

also taught me things to inhibit 

You’re kind, but you’re selfish

quite reckless 

who am I to judge

I’m not perfect, but you never gave me much

~Laughs ~dives ~ a good time

Did you ever really stimulate my mind? 

I guess you saved my life 

that day, on your birthday 

reckless with narcosis

Who am I 

reckless in college

we once were 

I was so broken when you left for Africa 

but when I look back 

I needed you far, not near 

Led me to fall in love with the canyon

Because it reminds me of the love I have 

it exists within

All that work to win me over yet again 

yogi, vegan, when?

A façade. Another version of your twin

We’ve been to some depths

It was our lifestyle that I loved

Your family too

The world we created 

when it was just me and you

you always said it wasn’t reality 

it was 

just for a bit 

until all the bullshit hit

It was a long run 

but after all the distance

You’re too in love with yourself

It stopped being fun 

we were not meant to last 

But I somehow can’t leave you in the past

Ah at last I’m here & I’m present 

happy, healing and forever abundant

surrounded by love

I can feel it with my eyes closed 

all the love 

thought I wanted it from you

Turns out I just needed this heartbreak instead

~a reality check  

Thank you for drinking the rosé 

on my birthday 

you’ve shown me true colors 

I wish you’d respect your damn mother 

Be humble, I’m trying 

A true Lion with Gemini eyes 

I will respect you but fuck, stop lying 

let yourself feel 

let yourself heal 

please dude, just be real 

Like the day you shared with me the indie philosophy

Be as humble as the ocean 

The rivers all lead to her 

To fill her up 

I see why you like him,

He’s humble you say

some truth there 

you ~ no longer the way

We had our moments

Some lovely 

Some lavish 

One day you’ll get it 

I hope that day comes soon

Not for me 

but for you